With the end of the year approaching, it is a good idea to take the proper steps to start the New Year off STRONG. Three areas of my life that impact how and when I achieve my goals are if my mental health, physical health, and career are in a solid place. I recently had the pleasure of interviewing some of my friends who happen to be therapist, fitness instructors, and human resource specialist. They provided great advice from dealing with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), setting realistic resolutions, and how to have negotiation conversations with your boss during the end of the year review. This three-part series is truly a treat and one to be read after putting your kids to sleep or before starting your weekend. Grab a journal and take notes. Happy Reading and I hope that the series provides you with resources on how to stay centered during the holiday and return back to work as a rockstar.
MENTAL HEALTH
Dr. Sheena Horsford – Couple & Family Therapist
Winter is commonly associated with seasonal depression - can you list some steps people can do to suppress these feelings? Seasonal depression also called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is very common and occurs yearly around the same time starting in the fall and continuing through the winter months.
Brighten up your place: If you have been affected, it is a good idea to invest in a SAD light bulb or SAD lamp that simulate daylight. These bulbs help to increase more of the daylight which is lost during the Fall and Winter months.
Seek help: This is also a good time for you to visit or revisit a therapist. If you have been affected by SAD in the past, it's best to plan ahead and schedule time to see a therapist and talk through some of the depressive symptoms you may experience only during this time of year.
Get some R&R: If you can afford it, this is also a good time of the year to book a vacation. Going to visit a warmer, sunnier climate during this season could help you feel better and feel more in control over your emotions.
Sweat it Out: Exercise and self-care are also helpful during this time of the year. If you prefer to exercise outdoors, you can still engage in physical activities at a local gym such as a new group workout class.
The holidays can sometimes bring anxiety with the extra pressure of cooking for loved ones or meeting your lover’s family for the first time. Any advice to lessen the anxiety?
If you are bringing someone home for the holidays it is important to talk to family first! Not only is it an adjustment for your spouse, but also for the family. Your family needs to be prepared before someone new comes over. For instance, certain topics should be off limits. The holiday dinner is not the time to try to initiate pseudo therapy sessions and resolve past hurts or trauma. Make sure family knows the person's name, and stay away from topics such as politics or religion.
In addition to preparing your family, it's important to prepare your significant other. Inform and/or educate your significant other about your family traditions and cultural expectations so that the individual is not surprised when they arrive at the dinner.
Finally, holidays are not a good time to try new recipes especially if your family prefers traditional meals. If your family prefers traditional meals and you try a new recipe, it can potentially hurt your feelings if no one likes the dish. It is better to try new dishes throughout the year in order to give people a chance to try them and for you to perfect how to prepare them. If you are not comfortable with your cooking skills, order food from a reputable catering company. There are multiple options of companies that specialize in preparing holiday meals.
What advice do you have for those who have recently lost loved one and are nervous about the holiday season? First is it important to allow yourself time to grieve and feel the range of emotions that will arise during the holiday season. Those emotions may lessen over time or certain holiday events it may become more intense. Remember feelings are not permanent, and grieving is a process. So give yourself permission to feel sad, happy, excited, and alone during this time period, but continue to move forward.
It is important to acknowledge that your holiday celebration has now changed. Now that you recognize your holiday is going to be different, you can create new traditions. Some examples of new traditions include-going out to eat for the holidays, booking a trip every holiday, or celebrating with friends.
Finally, this is a great time to volunteer and serve those who are less fortunate.
What advice do you have for women in setting realistic goals or New Year’s resolution? The New Year is a time for new beginnings. In order to prevent creating resolutions that you are not going to keep, pick 1 or 2 things you want to improve or focus on for the year. Only put your energy into those 1-2 things. Once you have reached those goals, then add more. Do not add more goals until you have perfected or reached those 2 things.
PHYSICAL HEALTH
Jillian Carter – Creator of Sidebarre DC
What are some things (physical/ fitness wise) people can do to prepare for the end of the year and carry over into the next year? START NOW! With all of the holiday meals coming around, it’s best to get your body used to the new routine you’re hoping to adapt to in the New Year.
How have you found exercising has helped you feel/become centered? Exercising definitely helps with clearing my mind. This is particularly why I like harder exercises so I can fully commit to the workout and leave all my thoughts and stress at the door.
As an owner of a Barre Studio, what advice do you have for new members joining your studio in 2020? Again, start now. Don’t be afraid of a better you. Our classes are intended to make everyone feel comfortable, so comfortable that if it’s your first time working out in years you’ll still feel like you’ve conquered the workout when class is finished.
You travel for work often. How do you manage to eat healthy and exercise while on business travel? I don’t! I still indulge when my cravings call. Of course, I make sure I don’t overload on sweets, red meat, etc. but I will not hold back! But, I also make sure I get in at least 30 minutes of a workout at least 4 times a week.
CAREER HEALTH
Morgan Carey - Human Resource Professional
Can you provide steps to come back fresh and energized after winter break or vacation? I find that taking a winter vacation is a great way to get rejuvenated for the New Year. I think that returning fresh when the time comes takes preparation and intention even before the break starts. Be intentional about how your vacation will be spent. Commit to remaining "unplugged" from your job. In the age of the internet and mobile devices we can be reached at all times. However, unless it is a true emergency, you should remain unavailable during your break. Communicate your intentions to your team before your break begins and mean it! During your time off exercise your commitment and only focus on things that make you feel good. Set a time to re-connect with your work. It could be 12-24 hours before you are to return. It could also be your scheduled arrival time on your day of return. Only you can determine how much time you truly need to reconnect and get done what you need done timely. Set your mind on catching up and understand that being "behind" in this case is okay. Set a list of goals when you return, stick to them, and check them off as they are completed. Your energy is your responsibility. Control it.
What are some questions to discuss during your end of year review? Ask about two things that went well and two things that you need to improve on. Once your leadership tells you what you need to improve on, ask them for their suggestions on the best ways to do so. Always ask about growth and learning opportunities in the department or within the organization. Your leadership needs to understand that you do not plan to stay stagnant in your job. If you aren't learning you aren't growing. Things are always advancing and organizations are constantly looking for new and innovative ways to improve. Without growth your value to the organization could eventually become limited.
Thinking about shifting careers in 2020 - what advice do you have for someone to prepare in the last two months of the year? Make sure your resume and cover letter are ready. If you have a friend that specializes in resume writing, contact them. If not, contact a resume writing service for tips. Depending on the position or industry that you would like to move into, it may be wise for you to hire a career coach. Coaching has worked wonders for me. I highly recommend it. Be sure to hire the right one. Ask me how? Lol
Studies show, women still make only $0.79 for each dollar men make in 2019. Any advice on how to have monetary/raise conversations with your manager? Great question! I believe part of the reason for the gap in pay between men and women has to do with gender, but the other part has to do with the fact that as women we don't ask for what we want. According to Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, Authors of "Women Don't Ask", Men are four times more likely to ask for higher pay than are women with the same qualifications. My advice here would be first believe you can, decide what you want, and then ask.
Happy New Year from Jenell's Melody. Thank you for your support this year and be sure to visit my blog in 2020. I plan to do more interviews like this one and fashion collaborations in the new year.
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