In my last blog, I mentioned the power of letting yourself feel the pain after the loss of a loved one. I remember shortly after my mother passed away it was recommended to me by many friends to see a grief counselor. I’ve seen a counselor once or twice in my 20’s after a toxic breakup or when I was struggling to find my way. I knew the power of going to an unbiased – stranger if you will, who has been trained not to judge you and also provide a course of action.
Here I was a month after my mom passed, determined to pull through, and address my pain by seeing a counselor. Luckily I have a close girlfriend who is a therapist and she was able to find a counselor for me in my neighborhood (her contact information is below). The process of finding a counselor is similar to that of a dating app – you can search for what type of counselor you’re looking for by location, specialty, appearance and educational background!
I scheduled my appointment with the counselor, a middle aged black female. I wanted to speak to someone who had life experience and also offered weekend hours. As many of you readers who live in DC/MD area know, traffic can be somewhat difficult during the week. I didn’t want to deal with the stress of having to rush to an appointment after work.
My first appointment I was excited and nervous – walking through the doors I had no idea how the meeting would turn out. If I can be honest – I wanted to be healed from my pain after the first 60 minute session. Shortly after sitting on the couch and hearing “So what brings you here?” I began to unleash talking about years of seeing my mother suffer from the disease, and playing all of these scenarios out in my mind about how my brother, father, and I would move on. I also shared my sadness about not having a significant other’s support during the hardest time of my life. Before I knew it the session was almost over and I had a pile of tissues in my hand.
Before I left the session we scheduled another meeting for the following month. Walking back to my car – I felt relieved and confused. As I mentioned, I wanted to be healed from my pain the first session. I soon learned that’s not how therapy or life works. Last year I attended therapy monthly – until another incident rocked my family, which I will get into in another post. The power of therapy is amazing – my counselor helped me put together goals and allowed me to play out scenarios.
Jenell’s Tip: If you are feeling stuck and can’t seem to find your way after a loss or devastating blow. I advise you to go seek counseling of a spiritual leader or therapist. Check with your employer to see what coverage your insurance provides.
Resources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
https://therapyforblackmen.org/
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